I heard the words escape his mouth as he repeated himself for the second time, his words still stinging me. I stood there as if I was frozen, unable to move, trying to completely comprehend what he was saying to me. I was so welled up with emotion right now and didn’t know how to feel anything at this point.
“This just isn’t working out anymore. Us. I’m sorry. It’s not you… it’s me.” My boyfriend, soon to be ex-boyfriend, Dylan repeated to me for a third time.
I felt a rush of tears starting to stream down my face. He quickly walked away when he saw me crying, leaving me in the park to let me to do whatever my heart contended to because he obviously didn’t give a fuck.
This was the guy I gave my heart to and he broke it. Broke it into a million pieces. I mean…. I didn’t really love him, but I cared about him and liked him a lot. Otherwise I wouldn’t have been crying like a baby in public after he broke up with me.
I saw him walking off into the distance. A little part of me was hoping this was all some joke, like I was on a reality show, and he would come running back to me. But he didn’t. I stood there in a daze letting the tears pour out of me.
Once I was able to hold myself together for a few minutes and stop crying, I walked over to one of the benches and sat down. I forced myself to put all of this in the back of my mind, and had to think about the most important things. Where on earth was I was going to stay?
I moved in with Dylan a couple of months ago and since this is all over, I didn’t have any place to go. My parents lived almost three states away from and I wasn’t even sure if I had money to get a hotel tonight. Hotels in LA are so expensive. I thought about it for a second before pulling my phone out of my purse.
Maybe I could stay at a friends for a couple of nights so I could get back on my feet? I looked through all the contacts on my phone. None of these people were honestly my friends. I knew all of these people, but I wasn’t really close to any of these people. Except for one person. Robert.
He was the guy who I could talk to when ever I needed to get something off my chest or ask for advice. He was the only person I’ve ever been really close to in my life, even though we didn’t get to see each other that often anymore because of the whole ‘him being famous’ thing. But even so, he meant so much to me.
I hoped he wasn’t doing another press tour like he’s always doing and maybe, just maybe, I’d have somewhere to stay for a few days. I was too distressed to have an actual conversation with him over the phone, so I just decided I was going to show up at his house. I didn’t think he would care. I didn’t have any money with me so I was going to have to walk there. Oh yeah, that’s just what I needed. To walk through downtown LA in the middle of the night.
While I was walking down the sidewalk, people were giving me strange looks and it made me feel very self conscious. I probably looked like a hot mess considering the fact that I had been crying earlier and my makeup was probably everywhere on my face.
Once I got to his house, I let out a sigh of relief and made my way toward the front door. He had this huge rented house that was in a gated community where all the celebrities lived. Don’t even ask how I got through the gate.
I knocked on the door a couple times, but there was still no reply. I guess he just wasn’t here tonight. I deeply sighed and turned my body around, starting to walk the other way. I had made my way down the steps of the porch when all of a sudden, I heard a familair voice.
“I’ll be there just a second!” I heard someone yell from inside the house. I instantly recognized the voice. A deep, prominent British accent. I secretely loved that accent of his, even though I woud tease him about it all the time.
He opened the door a couple seconds later. He gave a confused look because I didn’t think he recognized me. For one, I had not seen him in such a long time, and two, I had makeup probabaly everywhere on my face.
It took him a moment before he realized who I was.
He raised his eyebrows and looked at me like there was something wrong with me or something, and said, “You look terrible!” Oh yeah, that’s exactly what I wanted to hear right now.
“I didn’t mean it like that. I… I’m glad to see you. But, what happened to you?!” He said.
“I…” I couldn’t get the words and started to choke up. I felt that lump in your throat that you get right before you start crying. I felt myself starting to cry and literally collapse into his arms. I caught him off gaurd and he gripped on to my shoulders to keep me from falling.
He ran his fingers over my hair, repeatedly telling me that everything was going to be okay and that I needed to stop crying even though he had no idea what was going on. After getting all my feelings out and crying on his shoulder, I pulled away and started to wipe the smeared makeup of my face.
Robert gave me a half smile, trying not to laugh at the fact that I looked pretty crazy with mascara smeared all over my eyes. He leaned in and gave me a big hug.
You just don’t even understand how much of an amazing person this guy is! When I was around and close to him like this, it was like… I don’t even know how to describe it. Wait, what was I saying?
My boyfriend just broke up with me no less than hour ago and I was already getting ideas about another guy? No, I wasn’t. Shit. Yes I was.
Plus, I’m pretty sure Robert was already dating Kristin, and even if he wasn’t, I knew there was no way he was single. Wow, there really is something wrong with me. I tried to not to stress on that and not worry about that for now because I was honestly too busy admiring the physical features of his that I had always looked passed.
I looked up and stared into his eyes. I never really noticed how green his eyes were until now, and how he had this little twinkle in his eyes when he would smile. Robert gave me this confused grin, his eyes crunching up and his head titled to the side. He let out a nervous exhale of breath and he ran his fingers through his hair.
“What are you smiling at?” he asked.
“I… uh, nothing.” He looked at me again and grinned.
“Come on. You should get yourself cleaned up and then I want you to tell me exactly what happened to you.” he said.
I smiled at him one last night before walking upstairs and searching around for the bathroom. Once I had found the bathroom, I walked inside, closing and locking the door behind me. I started the shower and quickly got undressed.
I stepped into the shower and got myself clean as quickly as I possibly could. Once I was done, I stepped out of the shower and got myself dried.
Then I soon realized I didn’t have any other clothes to wear besides the dress I had worn when I got here. Great. I wrapped my towel around me and peaked out the bathroom door to make sure Robert wasn’t around to see me since I was basically naked.
I hurried over into his room. I looked around one last time to make sure he wasn’t there. I looked through his closet to find a shirt I could wear. I didn’t think he would mind if I wore some of his clothing.
I looked all around for a shirt that was long enough to cover up everything, but the longest shirt he had only went down to my mid thigh. I sighed and took the shirt out of his closet.
I dropped the towel that I had wrapped around me, and slipped the shirt over my head. I put on the shorts I had been wearing before my shower and headed towards the door. This was probably going to be the most awkward moment of my life considering the fact that this was the least amount of clothing I’ve ever worn around Robert.
I walked downstairs and towards the living room where he was still sitting on the couch.
“Hey.” I said in a small voice. He turned his head over and as soon as he saw what I was wearing, he raised his eyebrows. This was just as awkward as I expected it to be. I hurried over to the couch and sat down, covering the lower part of myself with a throw pillow so it wouldn’t be so awkward.
“So….” I said.
“Are you going to tell me about what happened to you now?” he asked. I lowered my head and let out a sigh. I kept myself in that position until I was ready to start talking. I ended up pouring out my heart again and start crying, but it was okay, because Robert was here to comfort me.
“So, are you okay?” he asked.
“Yeah, I think I am now.” I lied. I looked up at him again and saw that little twinkle in his eyes again and couldn’t help but to blush. I felt him rest his hand on my knee to try and comfort me and I felt goosebumps all over my body. Why was I enjoying this so much?
I scooted closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder. This was the closest I had ever been to him but for some reason this all felt wrong to me. I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. I was ready to go to bed now after this long and stressful.
“I’m going to go ahead and go to bed.” I said in a sleepy voice. I got up from the couch to leave and go up to the guest bedroom, but his hand caught mine and pulled me back. There was a burning sensation where our hands touched, and it was difficult to not jump at his touch. He pulled me right back onto the couch, next to him. Except this time our faces were so close. The smile of his face faded and he looked deeply into my eyes. I knew what was next.
My whole body felt shaky as I leaned in closer to him. When I tried to kiss him, he did something that I wasn’t expected. He just pulled his head away completely. I thought this is what he wanted to do?
“You…you know I can’t…” he said. I lowered my head because that actually kind of hurt. But why did it hurt? I don’t even like him all that much and all these feelings are coming from nowhere. I didn’t understand any of this.
I shook that disappointed feeling off quickly when I came to realize that not kissing him wasn’t the worst thing in the world. I let out a sigh and got up from the couch and headed up the stairs.
I made my way up to the guest bedroom, walked inside, closed the door, and locked it behind me. I plopped right on to bed and finally felt comfy. I needed a long sleep after tonight.